I met the devil last night. Disguised as an elderly gentleman who had it all he hung around my ear for about four hours while his wife whittled away on my fiance in another room.
Started simply enough: having a child is difficult, you've got your whole life to live. It gradually crescendos to him offering me the opportunity to come see his house on the hill, play with his toys, touch his mercedes. Its done I say, we're having the kid. And the wedding? he slyly asked. 'we want catholic', not in this day and age he says. I'm going to hell, he says... and my fist is balling up, but I'm in her parents house talking to her parent's friends.
And everything came clear, here was the devil offering me an alternate future all for the low cost of my morality now. It was disgusting, I've never been so angry. Still I can't say a word surounded by the sound of his kids playing on the other side of the room, shannon's mother holding a pot roast. Look its family! but don't have one yourself.
and you a teacher. Can't raise a child on a teacher's salary.
I've never felt so insulted.
and yet, I swallowed it all, smiled and made my way to the door...

There is no way in fucking hell that I am hollowing out my girls uterus so that I can have a nicer car!

that I be judas to our souls...

no way, no how.