well, I've been very silent lately. Too silent? well, I am in the midst of some sort of quarter life crisis. This is not the usual where am I going, where have I been crisis. Nonmaterial is my infliction; I just can't get my philosophies/feelings to line up.
I guess, for the purposes of this page's brevity, it all comes down to jesus vs. science. Emotion vs. logic. Unfortunately I find it quite reasonable that Jesus is the son of god and did come down to teach us forgiveness of sin. What I don't believe is that the church should have any political power or that people shouldn't make their decisions based on their own perspective, which of course is going to be driven by their religion.
Its enough to make me agnostic. I do know that atheism is sucker's bet. so, I've got that going for me...
There is so much more that is hard to explain here. I am angry, I need to rant, but I don't know at who or what about. now what sense does that make? I've always been a child first, rational adult second. I swear, I almost punched a dude at work today for running his mouth at me. A piece of shit nobody telling me, in front of everyone, that my opinion doesn't mean a fuck to him. God, I wanted to beat him senseless, and yet I know that fighting solves nothing (who the fuck taught me that?)... so, I just blew it off and walked away... walked away... I am getting tired of walking away waiting for whatever. Just what am I waiting for anyway? there are no better people anyway, right? I should have just flattened his face: spit venom. but big pussy, big brained me walked away.
why should doing the right thing hurt my pride? its all based on primal forces my friends... primal forces that say might is right.
And reason laughing as he confuses me, giving me contradicting logic: fighting solves nothing vs. smack him in the face and he won't seem so serious.
but that little situation could be nothing more than a metaphor. yes, it happened, but only later did I feel like punching him.
I feel like I'm ten again, doing the right thing and getting shit on for it.
what do I stand for, to you? can you really think of a flattering remark that can't be undone by my own twisted logic of rampage? (what the fuck does that mean?)
I'm done; thats enough of this.
be it suffice to say that I don't feel like writing right now, I simply don't know what I want to say...
everything else is well, I'm reading, I'm communicating, and I'm making friends(even the man I wanted to punch later told me 'you just get too excited sometimes', and he's right of course)
and jesus did exist and there is no heaven so take that for what it is worth...
fade into dmb end of last stop "come in from the cold for a little while... "
I guess, for the purposes of this page's brevity, it all comes down to jesus vs. science. Emotion vs. logic. Unfortunately I find it quite reasonable that Jesus is the son of god and did come down to teach us forgiveness of sin. What I don't believe is that the church should have any political power or that people shouldn't make their decisions based on their own perspective, which of course is going to be driven by their religion.
Its enough to make me agnostic. I do know that atheism is sucker's bet. so, I've got that going for me...
There is so much more that is hard to explain here. I am angry, I need to rant, but I don't know at who or what about. now what sense does that make? I've always been a child first, rational adult second. I swear, I almost punched a dude at work today for running his mouth at me. A piece of shit nobody telling me, in front of everyone, that my opinion doesn't mean a fuck to him. God, I wanted to beat him senseless, and yet I know that fighting solves nothing (who the fuck taught me that?)... so, I just blew it off and walked away... walked away... I am getting tired of walking away waiting for whatever. Just what am I waiting for anyway? there are no better people anyway, right? I should have just flattened his face: spit venom. but big pussy, big brained me walked away.
why should doing the right thing hurt my pride? its all based on primal forces my friends... primal forces that say might is right.
And reason laughing as he confuses me, giving me contradicting logic: fighting solves nothing vs. smack him in the face and he won't seem so serious.
but that little situation could be nothing more than a metaphor. yes, it happened, but only later did I feel like punching him.
I feel like I'm ten again, doing the right thing and getting shit on for it.
what do I stand for, to you? can you really think of a flattering remark that can't be undone by my own twisted logic of rampage? (what the fuck does that mean?)
I'm done; thats enough of this.
be it suffice to say that I don't feel like writing right now, I simply don't know what I want to say...
everything else is well, I'm reading, I'm communicating, and I'm making friends(even the man I wanted to punch later told me 'you just get too excited sometimes', and he's right of course)
and jesus did exist and there is no heaven so take that for what it is worth...
fade into dmb end of last stop "come in from the cold for a little while... "
1 Comments:
the harsh truth? I like that; it sounds so punk rock. The biggest problem I have is that I do seek to expose the truth and most people, especially those who are not familiar to my style, find it to be abrasive. Look, I have no desire to be abrasive. I seek for nothing more than to expose our weaknesses so that we may combat them.
I think in the long run we all understand it, however my mother, and my brother, especially simply don't deal too well with what I say. I call them pussies and they agree. They don't defend themselves, or even attempt to present a possible interpretation, they just shrug their shoulders or let themselves hate themselves some more. It's sad, and I don't know how to deal with it.
I just can't sit by idlely.
I must learn how to communicate in their language - that is the key. But, we all know that; I've known it for years and what have I done any different?
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