Maybe sanity isn't statistical, but everything else is...
As good as things have been going, and as good as I feel, all it takes is one bad day, and a look around, to realize that I am still where I was: I haven't moved an inch. I thought, for some odd reason, that I was going places, that things were looking up, but really if you take a look around, do a little count, all you'll find is that
I am 26
I have two jobs
I am about to live with my mom
I am still in school
I failed my most important class ever, for the second time, last fall
I don't own a car
I am upwards of 60K in debt (school et al.)
I haven't had a girlfriend in a little under 2 years
I might not have another one for another 2 years
and I haven't created one single living piece of art...
sanity may not be statistical
but my failures are.
- don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy (at least I have that going for me) its just all so overwhelming when you actually think about just how far 'behind' I am...
now what I am behind thats a whole nother post for a whole nother day.
As good as things have been going, and as good as I feel, all it takes is one bad day, and a look around, to realize that I am still where I was: I haven't moved an inch. I thought, for some odd reason, that I was going places, that things were looking up, but really if you take a look around, do a little count, all you'll find is that
I am 26
I have two jobs
I am about to live with my mom
I am still in school
I failed my most important class ever, for the second time, last fall
I don't own a car
I am upwards of 60K in debt (school et al.)
I haven't had a girlfriend in a little under 2 years
I might not have another one for another 2 years
and I haven't created one single living piece of art...
sanity may not be statistical
but my failures are.
- don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy (at least I have that going for me) its just all so overwhelming when you actually think about just how far 'behind' I am...
now what I am behind thats a whole nother post for a whole nother day.
2 Comments:
it's so weird..we seem to have a lot in common and I often think the same
I will be 26 in a few days
I am still in school
I have 3 jobs
I dont live with my parents but that is also why Im in debts because it's soo difficult to pay all the bills
I fail a lot of classes because I work way too much
I haven't had a boyfriend in a while
Oh well...It's all good ;)
there's a whole army of people out there just like us... its funny, the world has changed, we have so many options these days that we end up doing so much (school, work, hobbies, interest, etc.), yet somehow we are still struggling with ideals (life ideals, standards, whatever) that are beneath us.
I don't know why I care whether I live with my mom or not, whether I have been in school to long, or whether or not I should be married by now; All these notions are strictly stolen from the societal standards around me, unendorsed by my self, and yet, every so often, the weight of them just bowls me over...
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