"Everyday, it's a gettin' closer,
Goin' faster than a roller coaster"

Haven't been posting much lately; really I have a lot to say, I just don't have the access (my computer is in the shop)... things are good. Real good. I keep thinking the bottom must fall aside some time soon, but really I know that something snapped and its only going to get better: this is my year: this is the year I get out of the college funk, I can feel it already - everything is going to be alright - everything...

lately I've felt something different: an urge to get a girlfriend. I hate to say this, or every to write about girls on this thing (journals + girls = embarrassment years later when you look back)... I hate to say this, but I am getting lonely - or more true to the point, I want a teammate. In church the other day, the priest was talking about our inner and outer selves. He said something about how we are alone in our inner selves. I don't believe that. I believe when we are in love we share that inner self, and thats the difference... Idon't need to fuck, I don't need someone to tell me I am great, I don't need someone to worship, I just want someone to share my life with... I want to wake up and see her face, put my arms around her and squeeze. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so... and maybe it won't be the one I envision now, but it will be someone...