Downriver doesn't feel like home anymore. You all know how I feel... Last night, Shannon expressed an opposite interest in the nostalgia of coming home. For her, who doesn't live here, there is no judgement, no disappointment, and more importantly only time spent with family - which of course is always good time.
For me, I just see a bunch of people whom I don't relate too. I related it like this: you're in the bar. You start talking to a girl. It's good vibes, you're getting along, and then you mention the last book you read. To which she replies "I don't read" and brings of some TV series. WHY CAN'T ANYONE READ DOWN HERE? Now, you're still on this bar stool and you've still got this girls attention, but already your uninterested.
The down river is an attractive woman to which I just can't relate; there are so many things I like and enjoy down here, plus it is where I've come from, but fundamentaly I have been altered - shit, maybe I never was comfortable here in the first place - Altered and unable to bear it. Have I become some type of intellectual elite? I fear so, but why can't people read? Why can't they take interest in the world around them? And why do I care?
I feel like I don't have a home anymore. Yes, I have a house, but I don't have a home. When I was younger and travelled my home was downriver, it was my center. I was just away. Upon returning I feel awkward, uncomfortable, and just plain disappointed. Not only dissapointed that so many people have given up on intellectual persute, but also dissapointed that I care so much. Why, why, why, why? Why can't I just accept people for who they are and what they have to offer? Why am I so judgemental? I feel like I am the loser here...
For me, I just see a bunch of people whom I don't relate too. I related it like this: you're in the bar. You start talking to a girl. It's good vibes, you're getting along, and then you mention the last book you read. To which she replies "I don't read" and brings of some TV series. WHY CAN'T ANYONE READ DOWN HERE? Now, you're still on this bar stool and you've still got this girls attention, but already your uninterested.
The down river is an attractive woman to which I just can't relate; there are so many things I like and enjoy down here, plus it is where I've come from, but fundamentaly I have been altered - shit, maybe I never was comfortable here in the first place - Altered and unable to bear it. Have I become some type of intellectual elite? I fear so, but why can't people read? Why can't they take interest in the world around them? And why do I care?
I feel like I don't have a home anymore. Yes, I have a house, but I don't have a home. When I was younger and travelled my home was downriver, it was my center. I was just away. Upon returning I feel awkward, uncomfortable, and just plain disappointed. Not only dissapointed that so many people have given up on intellectual persute, but also dissapointed that I care so much. Why, why, why, why? Why can't I just accept people for who they are and what they have to offer? Why am I so judgemental? I feel like I am the loser here...
3 Comments:
some people grow and change.. and some people don't (maybe they should...?) but there is always the nostalgia of remembering your home as it was then. and it's easier for the person who left and lived a bit of life away. right now,i am really missing home. and i'm selectively remembering. i'm not thinking about all the idiots or the political sphere or crap family politics. i'm thinking about how i miss the good bits.
home isn't where you make. it's where you are happy.
so as much as you may dislike elitist attitude some a2 people have, might you fit better there? go talk to someone who challenges you. talk to an articulate intelligent individual with radically different viewpoints.
how can someone not read?!??!
then again, i don't have a tv, so i'm sure i would be ostracized from some social circles.
darn.
The sense of loss and longing is pretty broad. Part of it is that we view our past through foggy lenses, we just forget the bad stuff or had nothing to compare it to when we were younger. Downriver is no different from Muskegon, Omaha, or just about any place.
It took me a long time to realize much of my traveling/road-tripping and reading was an effort to grasp back at a sense of comfort I imagined to have existed when I was younger.
Great comment on writing and calling grandparents! I couldn't agree more.
What's with the Pistons? This is a concern.
Be well
Me.
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