"my love for you... is only a shadow of your love for me..." god bless you... 26 years old and still yearning to grow, I think we are doing well... and maybe we won´t change the world but we´ll look better doing nothing... twenty six and what I have I accomplished "they want you to believe that you will be blah blah blah, well you're not"... but thats not really why we are here is it? I've been on a sombras y luz kick the whole time here, I wrote this in my journal today: ... que crudo... no hay sombras sin sol... the natural state of life is darkness, that is just how it is. However, there is the one big star in the sky and all the litttle lights in the night to guide us through dust to dust... and we, we are the luces, our own pequeno private light for everyone around us... the more friends, the more light or were it the more love the more light or is the light love of our father shined down upon us? and when I extend my hand to you another light begins and when you smile back at me there are now two lights, enough to find our way in the dark. What if god just wants to watch? what if he is nothing but an avid reader who loves stories of amor and all the laws of love are nothing more than a script to please our one person audience... nothing more, nothing less.... Its interesting to reread and juxtapose with my previous excerpts.... there is just so much meaning to me in the saying that there are no shadows without the sun and that the natural state is darkness.. be it ever so juvenile it explains my take on life... most of this is darkness, thats why we get so down, but maybe if we shine our light someone else will notice and we'll have two flashlights... and then there is love... I hate to say it, but love matters to me, I want to be in love... I hate to say it because i've never been further from it; all my relationships are sexual or boring at best and now that I'm trying to reach out all I'm finding are ugly single people... 26 might just not be the right time to go searching... you know what else? I just want to be a writer. thats what I want to do with my life.. its why I choose teacher, its, well its everything... If you asked me what I want to do with my life, thats it. To be a famous writer reviered by all for just being that damn good... women wanting to fuck me just because of what I wrote in some stupid book... that's my dream, but I´m not much of one am I? what's your dream? I remember the words revolution...