alright, now that I've calmed down...
choosing spanish allows me to interact with a larger percentage of the population while introducing me to another culture (actually a ton of different cultures: see mexico: see spain: see el salvador: see them all play together). And in learning/communicating with another culture I gain perspective: in gaining perspective I become wise and I appreciate more...
In choosing to be a teacher I provide a public service. That is number one; in being a teacher I make noone's day worse and hopefully everyone's day better; I educate, but I also provide a postive rolemodel and friendship/mentorship. In teaching I am able to travel the summers, and thus gain more perspective.
Also, I intend to end up with some hot ass nerdy little teacher chick with glasses, who not only provides companionship but also is willing to put on the heels and get dirty... anyway, where was I going...
blah blah blah, teaching is a wonderful profession... but I do suck, and I mean suck at spanish, and my methods class is going to kill me, fucking kill me. I just lack the confidence to succeed in an intensive environment wherein I have to perform every week. I just don't have it in me... so I come home pissed/depressed (btw my healthy depression results in anger, but we'll get to that some other day)...
I come home depressed when I realize how smart I am at so many other things and how I'll never maximize them... unless I make it as some kind of casino consultant some day...
fuck. growing up and choosing your life is not easy...