I guess the fact of the matter is I will never be comfortable comforming to anyone else's definition of my self, and yet I've never taken any steps to become fully autonomous... the reality being that I my self am to blame. Sadly this neither comes as a surprise nor inspires some inner drive to escape my chains.
Maybe I am the first person to blame themselves while recognizing that nothing else can be done... not very fucking likely; it sounds a lot more like the same story once again.

repetition is my name
I am jack's floundering tired tirade