Its getting pretty decadent in the Donoghue household. It seems that when I am not pondering God's existence my brother and I are drinking and eating everything in sight. We don't seem to be so keen on cleaning. There is an empty pizza box now piled on in the kitchen, bottles, bottles, and more bottles, plates to the ceiling, wrappers on the floor, my bed, my fucking bed hasn't been made in a week, there are clothes everywhere, every guitar I have has broke its strings... and yet things carry on continuously. I returned home at 4:30 today, after the one of the more wonderful evenings ever (at work), to begin doing shots of tequila until 7am at which point we bought mcdonalds and watched Troy.Life is pure excess right now. I like it. All bases have been covered and soon enough I'll be hard to the task. Until then however... I found the solution to all of my life's problems. Her name is Susan, she lives in St. Louis, and I'll probably never see her again... Call it something. call it a watershed moment, call it a liberation, shit, call it the end of an era. I'll just call it as I see it: another understanding and a whole lot of tension relieved... and not just sexually, more important I feel changed philosophically. I feel like I understand what relationships are supposed to be about... and what they are not. I also feel like we shouldn't be spending our time chasing what we can't have when we can relax and reel in what else of the world is around...zen is found in green see through panties. That is today's truth. Just todays; if the decadence continues there'll be more wisdom tommorrow. If not we'll get back on the clean kick and get on with living our lives...It's a lot for one letter, but I'll carry on:I think that I want to take next year (begining with my birthday) and do the 'right thing'. I mean go to church, help out homeless shelters, don't drink so much, be a better person (in an outside and touching manner)... I'll explain more when I understand the vision better. Be it suffice to say for now that I have spent most of my life living for me and my interest, doing what makes me happy, maybe I should take a year and do something for everyone else. Wear the wordrobe of discipline, it couldn't hurt.