saw things so much clearer, once you were in my review mirror...

I just smoked the best cigarrette of my life, I'm listening to Pearl Jam, and everything makes sense...

I know that I was born and I know I'll die, the inbetween is mine...

I always liked that line. cause what more do we know outside of those perameters? all I know is that we control our lives and we are the authors of our tales...
I can't wait to be a father.
I can't wait to be a teacher.
I can't wait.
this is my year. our year.
jdon

I met the devil last night. Disguised as an elderly gentleman who had it all he hung around my ear for about four hours while his wife whittled away on my fiance in another room.
Started simply enough: having a child is difficult, you've got your whole life to live. It gradually crescendos to him offering me the opportunity to come see his house on the hill, play with his toys, touch his mercedes. Its done I say, we're having the kid. And the wedding? he slyly asked. 'we want catholic', not in this day and age he says. I'm going to hell, he says... and my fist is balling up, but I'm in her parents house talking to her parent's friends.
And everything came clear, here was the devil offering me an alternate future all for the low cost of my morality now. It was disgusting, I've never been so angry. Still I can't say a word surounded by the sound of his kids playing on the other side of the room, shannon's mother holding a pot roast. Look its family! but don't have one yourself.
and you a teacher. Can't raise a child on a teacher's salary.
I've never felt so insulted.
and yet, I swallowed it all, smiled and made my way to the door...

There is no way in fucking hell that I am hollowing out my girls uterus so that I can have a nicer car!

that I be judas to our souls...

no way, no how.

'As soon as you're born they make you feel small...'

being 27 I don't feel one bit removed from Lennon's death than any of the rest of you do. My father on the other hand... he was there, he actually felt it: In essence we are removed, having known the end of the story while we were learning...
For us it was Kurdt Cobain, but he shot himself and was such a hollow comparision to Lennon (musically, spiritually... basically in every manner) that I laugh now looking back upon my sorrow april whatever 1994.
I think we're all so shocked when people are killed over political reasons, or crazy reasons, or whatever reason that guy had in common. I just heard Lennon compared to bobby kennedy, MLK, JFK and the difference here is that lennon just wrote records... its hard to imagine a world where people aren't killed for being great and yet insanely ludicrous to imagine one within which they are.

For my part I've almost a tear in my eye for the fact that the man who said give peace a chance was shot for no reason... and I know it sounds so trite, or already said, and yet so profound as to be repeated in the back of my mind for the better part of an hour.