Were life to be defined as either success or failure I believe that you would have to call mine a colossal failure. And yet I don't feel that bad....

Maybe I don't know any better? Or maybe I'm just confused, but I just can't help but find my self steadily moving forward amidst a turbulent current. Never quite being sent out to sea, often, and just barely, avoiding crashing into the rocks I've somehow managed to stay afloat through it all. In fact it would be tough to say that I'm all that much worse for wear.

Life, it seems to me now, is nothing more than a matter of mere perseverance in pursuing that which interest me most. School is a passing fancy; work a means to butter my bread, nothing more in either case. So why should I be so sorrowful when I am assessed far from the best at an endeavor I so grudgingly undertake? I don't know if I do. I say I do, but do I really care, for these failures touch me not.

What does touch me then? My friends, my woman, my games of chance. In all of these I excel... why then can I not call a spade a spade and the day be done? Why of course there is life to be lived, and life in these American United States is bureaucracy...

However, here and now I can call a spade a spade and say I'd rather win a world series of poker than graduate a thousand kids. I just want to enjoy my life. My friends, my woman, my family, and my games of chance are my life. Everything else is just fodder.
My music is my life
My conversations are my sustenence...
nothing more nothing less
My teaching will be my life, but this mediocre reflection is not: my classes are my duldrums...