excerpts from the fifty stories I am writing ( I just skipped through my microsoft word):
"all we've got is each other... if we fail god fails, if we fail the walls crumbles, reason falters, and the whole universe goes awry…"
" In those bare minimum moments we are allowed to feel, but I didn’t want to feel. I wanted to walk away; I wanted to pretend that nothing had happened"
"I believe there is someone out there.
Someone hectic, scattered, and dedicated
Just like me."
"collapsed and considering quitting again… "
"I me me mine its all about me isn’t it? Shouldn’t it be? "
"The one that got away from me is the one that I let go away…"
"Unfortunately, what we can comprehend often itself is marred and no matter how in tune we are with what passes we still may only understand a fraction of these events. I believe it must remain that way for even the most enlightened individual. Who has time to pay all that attention?"
"Nothing is ever as bad as it seems; even death itself can be reduced down to a witty quip “ashes to ashes, dust to dust”. All this life and a few seconds after our heart or our mind goes out we are nothing once more. Probably doesn’t even take a minute and what was once life is now a corpse waiting to begin decomposition… We all know these things, you know this, I know this. We all accept these things.
Maybe it’s the fear of acceptance that drives us mad, but it certainly isn’t the fact that we are going to die…"
"Its only natural to feel a number of emotions. Only natural to laugh, only natural to cry, only natural to build, to create, to construct, to desire, to yearn. Yes to yearn. All good things involve a certain amount of yearning."
"Real tears born of realization"
"all we've got is each other... if we fail god fails, if we fail the walls crumbles, reason falters, and the whole universe goes awry…"
" In those bare minimum moments we are allowed to feel, but I didn’t want to feel. I wanted to walk away; I wanted to pretend that nothing had happened"
"I believe there is someone out there.
Someone hectic, scattered, and dedicated
Just like me."
"collapsed and considering quitting again… "
"I me me mine its all about me isn’t it? Shouldn’t it be? "
"The one that got away from me is the one that I let go away…"
"Unfortunately, what we can comprehend often itself is marred and no matter how in tune we are with what passes we still may only understand a fraction of these events. I believe it must remain that way for even the most enlightened individual. Who has time to pay all that attention?"
"Nothing is ever as bad as it seems; even death itself can be reduced down to a witty quip “ashes to ashes, dust to dust”. All this life and a few seconds after our heart or our mind goes out we are nothing once more. Probably doesn’t even take a minute and what was once life is now a corpse waiting to begin decomposition… We all know these things, you know this, I know this. We all accept these things.
Maybe it’s the fear of acceptance that drives us mad, but it certainly isn’t the fact that we are going to die…"
"Its only natural to feel a number of emotions. Only natural to laugh, only natural to cry, only natural to build, to create, to construct, to desire, to yearn. Yes to yearn. All good things involve a certain amount of yearning."
"Real tears born of realization"
"Youth
My youth took my happiness away, or were my father? Or were they one in the same? How can anyone be happy, as a child, when their father is more than a phone call away? When their mother is overworked and unable to communicate anything other than frustration with uncontrolled signs and tears at dinner everyday? Every fucking day.
When they take your daddy away, and believe you me it is neither your mother nor your father that takes your daddy away, it is life that takes away your daddy. Sometimes you think its god, because what more is life then god, then you realize that it is life, that god does not take daddys away (not any god that you could believe in), then you realize that god doesn’t control life, he’s caught up in the meanings, defined by the definitions unable to change a damn thing (and this is the type of god you should believe in?). What was I saying? Oh yeah…
When they take your daddy away you are forced to carry on as convention would have it: missing him dearly but all the while chalking it up to a distraction. A distraction that can only take away from your school or your happiness. Your school? In first grade who the fuck cares more about a father than an A in mathematics? Your happiness. I think we’ve discussed this already: there is no happiness when we are not complete. There is not completeness when you wake up every morning to flustered mother and the memory of a father…"
My youth took my happiness away, or were my father? Or were they one in the same? How can anyone be happy, as a child, when their father is more than a phone call away? When their mother is overworked and unable to communicate anything other than frustration with uncontrolled signs and tears at dinner everyday? Every fucking day.
When they take your daddy away, and believe you me it is neither your mother nor your father that takes your daddy away, it is life that takes away your daddy. Sometimes you think its god, because what more is life then god, then you realize that it is life, that god does not take daddys away (not any god that you could believe in), then you realize that god doesn’t control life, he’s caught up in the meanings, defined by the definitions unable to change a damn thing (and this is the type of god you should believe in?). What was I saying? Oh yeah…
When they take your daddy away you are forced to carry on as convention would have it: missing him dearly but all the while chalking it up to a distraction. A distraction that can only take away from your school or your happiness. Your school? In first grade who the fuck cares more about a father than an A in mathematics? Your happiness. I think we’ve discussed this already: there is no happiness when we are not complete. There is not completeness when you wake up every morning to flustered mother and the memory of a father…"
"
Love
I wasn’t happy still, till I met a girl. A sweet little thing who was set on convincing me that love was the way out. In some weird sense, or maybe a real direct one so sublime that it appears an illusion, I wasn’t happy until I was able to see a family unit as something attainable or persistent, something that will not fail through time or change in environment.
Fortunately, though life had robbed me of my example it could not deprive me of the hope instilled by my first relationship… possibility its all about possibility. You believe in it or you do not, it really is that simple. Me, I believe in the possibility of love, therefore…"
I wasn’t happy still, till I met a girl. A sweet little thing who was set on convincing me that love was the way out. In some weird sense, or maybe a real direct one so sublime that it appears an illusion, I wasn’t happy until I was able to see a family unit as something attainable or persistent, something that will not fail through time or change in environment.
Fortunately, though life had robbed me of my example it could not deprive me of the hope instilled by my first relationship… possibility its all about possibility. You believe in it or you do not, it really is that simple. Me, I believe in the possibility of love, therefore…"
"When someone gives up their faith in you, you’re fucked. I don’t care what you do, honest or integral, they will see some fictitious desire to hurt them…"
"Now this cat was poor, I mean he didn’t have any money. I never seen him with even a dime in his hand. Never drank, never smoked, never did nothing but hang out. But he always had food. I mean this mother fucker never had a thing to do, but his fridge was always full and he was always sharing his food… mother fucker was a twig…"
- it feels weird to flip through these old writings, some are journals, some are stories, but they are all attempts to explain the universe.
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